You sure about that?
OK. I understand – hell, I find some of my female bodybuilding friends schmexy too! 😉 (And I get to tan some of them up!) But I feel it’s only fair to let you know what it could be really like. Forewarned is forearmed, and all that.
(With thanks to J, J and L for some of the following bits of intel… and to all the other crazy single female bodybuilders I am privileged to know and hang out with).
The hotter the bod, the crazier the mind
I get it. You like muscly, lean ladies. Trouble is, you can’t have it all. You see, being that lean doesn’t come naturally (understatement…) It’s either/or, most of the time anyway. And, sorry, I can’t tell you when you’ll stumble upon the small window of time that is the Holy Grail: lean, funny, with it and a joy to be around. You’re just going to have to keep trying your luck. Most of the time, you get a) hot bod and bordering on maniacal, or b) reasonable state of mind but somewhat “off-season”. Just being real!
On the topic of libido
Here’s a funny thing. I hear most of my male BB friends say that their sex-drive takes a nose-dive during a bodybuilding diet. Yet most women I talk to say quite the opposite. It goes into over-drive. I have a theory here (absolutely not grounded in scientific research, btw). Could it be because we’ve now got more muscle mass and less body fat, our hormones are less “female” and more “male”? We’ve got more testosterone than previously (and more than non-BB women), and less oestrogen? I have no idea.
But on the flip side, one of my female BB friends said that, during prep, she is genuinely too tired for any of that shenanigans and will “expect the man to do all the work in the last few weeks of prep”. And she’s not talking about housework or grocery shopping.
I think the take-home point here is prep makes women more up for it (in their minds, at least), but when it comes down to the actual moment… we might have run out of steam. Soz!
On the topic of food
“Do not eat my food or I will kill you”. That’s a direct quote from a single FBB friend of mine. What can I say, she’s a redhead. I’ve got brown hair, so my attitude to food is a bit less fiery, but essentially I agree. We don’t get a lot of food, and what we do get has been carefully prepared, probably weighed out (tedious) and dreamed about for the previous few hours. If we open the fridge and you’ve eaten the damn thing… well, more fool you.
Cardio… not that kind of cardio
You’re unlikely to be our first thought in the morning. That accolade goes to the joy that is cardio. And, no, sorry, not that kind of cardio (what are you offering, anyway, LISS or HIIT?)
Choose your words carefully
You think women in general are unpredictable and difficult to please? Oh, sweetie, you have no idea.
Do not say “I’m tired”. To quote a friend… “I’m tired, you just have no f*****g clue…” (and that one’s not even a redhead!)
Do say: “Can I prep your food for you?” Friend quote: “I will love you forever”
Do say: “Sure, I’d love to help you shave your entire body ahead of your first tanning appointment.”
Don’t say: “Hang on… just snapchatting this….”
Do say: “I’ve found a cafe we can go to which does chicken/fish and plain veggies.”
Don’t say: “Oh yum, I can’t decide whether to have the pulled pork burger with triple cooked fries or the all-day-breakfast. What would you have?”
Don’t say: “Why are you just sitting there? You look like a zombie.”
Do say: “Let me carry that empty glass into the kitchen for you, it looks very heavy. Would you like a cup of green tea whilst I’m out here?”
Don’t say: “Great to meet you, I’m glad you like my choice of coffee shop. What can I get you, latte? Cappucino? How about one of the Christmas seasonal coffees? Oh – nearly forgot – do you want any cakes or muffins?”
Do say: “Great to meet you, I’m glad you like my choice of coffee shop. I’ll go and order: black coffee, right? Or would you prefer a green tea?”
I’ll leave you with a few choice words from my female friends:
I love nice tupperware. If you buy me some, you can stay (?! LOL!)
If I ask you to tan me it doesnt mean you get sex. (Friend 2 Yeah! Same goes for posing!)
I cry a lot during prep. It’s not about you! That’s normal for me.
Appreciate the hard work and commitment and we will be ok 🙂
Lots of love… the ladies of the bodybuilding world 😉
Nicola Joyce – the Fit Writer – is a freelance copywriter and journalist who writes for the sport and fitness industry. Her main website is here.