Quick-fire quiz: “You know you’re a dieting bodybuilder when…”

Afternoon!

Sorry I’ve been a bit AWOL. I just don’t know where the time goes. Except, yes I do really, cos if I take a look at my Google calendar for the next few weeks I can see:
UKDFBA bodybuilding comp in 13 days
NPA Finals in 28 days
– moving house in 34 days
(And you don’t even want to see my work whiteboard.)

However, I’m still here, still prepping, still dieting and still blogging, promise!

Today’s blog post is a little quiz: a highly-scientific test to ascertain whether or not you are, or ever have been, a dieting competitive bodybuilder. (You’d be forgiven for forgetting: low carbs get to us all).

1) You’ve just completed a long drive. The little rubbish-bin compartment in your car’s drivers door is filled with
A
sweet wrappers, an empty bag of Skittles and a crushed up Starbucks cup
B the stems of green beans, a screwed up bit of tin foil, and crushed egg shells

2) You last ate Brussels sprouts
A
Christmas 2011
B Yesterday, for meals two and four

3) The last thing to make you cry was
A
Your dog dying
B The thought of climbing the stairs to have a shower after training

4) You would jump for joy right now if someone offered you
A
Your favourite type of cake and a hot cup of tea
B A bowl of raspberries

5) The most recent thing to make you lose your temper and want to kill someone was
A
Phoning up a utilities company to try and discuss your bill
B Someone trying to talk to you at “the wrong volume”

6) The last inanimate object you called “m*ther f*cker!” was
A
Your laptop
B The hack squat machine

7) In the last week, you have permanently mislaid this number of everyday items
A
0-2
B 5-100 (bonus points if this includes house keys, car keys, wallet or official documentation of any kind)

8) You can’t find the TV remote anywhere. Finally, you locate it
A
Down the side of the sofa
B In the freezer (and you still haven’t got tomorrow’s turkey out to defrost)

9) You categorise your bags by
A
Type (work, leisure, smart, weekend), number of pockets, and how well they match your other accessories
B How many tupperwares can fit inside them, and how easy it is to clean chicken juice off the lining

10) You are most likely to block, unfollow or ignore people on social media because
A
They post too often, are boring or are no longer relevant to your interests
B They post pictures of their dinners, endless recipes, or check-ins at Costa (drinking lattes)

Bonus question
11) Whilst answering these questions, you have mainly been
A
Shaking your head or furrowing your brow, wondering “why do they do it to themselves?”
B Laughing a lot, wondering “why do we do it to ourselves?”

You answered
Mainly A!
Congratulations! Long may you enjoy milk in your coffee, space in your fridge for something other than green veg, and a car which doesn’t smell of chicken!
Mainly B! Congratulations (commiserations?), you are currently dieting for a bodybuilding competition, or have done in the recent past and have not yet been able to banish some of the finer details of the experience from your mind

Quick-fire quiz: “You know you’re a dieting bodybuilder when…” is a post from The Fit Writer blog.

Nicola Joyce – the Fit Writer – is a freelance copywriter and journalist who writes for the sport and fitness industry. Her main website is here.

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9 Responses to Quick-fire quiz: “You know you’re a dieting bodybuilder when…”

  1. Juliet says:

    LOL!!! I have really mixed feelings about this post. My first thought was that it’s hilarious. My second was “why do they do it to themselves”. My third was “But I don’t fit either totally A or B”… for example, I eat brussels regularly and my fridge is filled with lots of greens/other colored veggies I cant remember the name of thanks to my funky produce store down the street.

    At the same time… I long ago abandoned the idea of “meals 2 and 4”, I refuse to ever touch the hack squat again when there are always perfectly good barbells lying around, and my remote control is likely to be in either of those places. ❀ ❀ ❀ Great post

    Like

    • thefitwriter says:

      ;D hey pal…! I knew there’d be plenty of people (you for one!) who would sit somewhere between the two, and I did think about doing an a, b, c for each question but y’know I’ve got to walk the dog and do my cardio still today ;D It’s really just meant to be a silly spoof of all those quizzes you get in magazines (“if you answered mainly A, you should definitely leave your job in investment banking and travel to Thailand with a man named Crazy Chas!)

      Like

  2. LOL omg I am dying! Did I ever tell you that once when I was contest dieting I put my car keys in the freezer section at a grocery store????? I don’t know either. The man who brought them to me looked a little bit afraid.

    (Also Juliet above I PROMISE I am going to email you back!!! I am slow!!)

    Like

  3. Karen/karryann says:

    Thank you for making me laugh so much!
    I think the worst thing I did during prep was put my debit card in my 7yr old son’s lunch box , not once but twice……. phone call from the head teacher each time.. oops!

    Like

  4. ZoeS says:

    I’m thinking that I need to stop posting my Starbucks check-ins πŸ˜‰

    Like

  5. Kat says:

    This made me laugh so hard that I’m crying (which means of course I completely understand about bean ends, screwed up foil, brussells sprouts etc.). Loved it!!!

    Like

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