Do you speak bodybuilder? Your handy translation tool

Do you know a bodybuilder? Train with one? Or… *shudder*… live with one?

As we approach the competition season, you may be feeling a little… hm… how you say… incommunicado. As your favourite bodybuilder delves deeper into his or her diet, as the cardio starts to become slightly less fun, and as thoughts turn to that teeny-tiny posing outfit, it might feel as if you’re living with a foreigner, if not a foreign body.

No hablo “bodybuilder”? No worries. Here’s my handy translation tool kit for talking to a bodybuilder.

They say: I’m just getting a bit of extra cardio in. Great finisher after back/shoulder/leg day, this!
It means: They are mowing the lawn, washing the car or going to the tip.

They say: Just off to do some LISS fasted cardio this morning.
It means: They are going to walk the dog before breakfast

They say: I’m going to do a carb-backload tonight
It means: Stuff the diet love, let’s get a pizza. And a bag of Maltesers. And some icecream. It’s strategic though!

They say: I’m working on my tan and topping up my vitamin-D levels whilst lowering my cortisol.
It means: They are sitting in the garden enjoying the sunshine, isn’t it nice?

They say: I’ve been carb-cycling, it’s definitely time for a refeed
It means: Stuff the diet love, I am now going to eat more food in a 4-hour period than you thought a man or woman (or beast) was physically capable of. It’s strategic though!

They say: Sleep is the most anabolic tool we have
It means: They are tired and fancy a nap

They say: I am practicing intermittent fasting, specifically the 16/8 protocol
It means: They slept through the alarm, so breakfast will be a little later than usual today

They say: I need some fuel!
It means: I need some food

They say: Sorry I was ages in the shower, I’ve started my pre-tanning skin prep.
It means: Sorry I was ages in the shower, I was doing a nice bodyscrub. The same one you use actually.

They say: I’ve got to do my food prep, I have to set aside time every week to do it.
It means: They need to plan their meals, do some veggie chopping/batch cooking… just like non-bodybuilders do.

They say: It’s OK, I’m off-season. I need to put some quality size on.
It means: It’s OK, my comp is ages away and I’m actually a pretty normal person who likes to eat stuff.

Hope that helps 😉

Do you speak bodybuilder? Your handy translation tool is a post from The Fit Writer blog.

Nicola Joyce – the Fit Writer – is a freelance copywriter and journalist who writes for the sport and fitness industry. Her main website is here.